i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
