I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I want is dick and wine.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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