She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Terrible idea I love it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
