I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
