he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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