So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize