The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
