One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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