I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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