Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
