Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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