guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
