chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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