remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
