Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
