I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
