Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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