I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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