you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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