Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
