i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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