I am puke
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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