..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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