I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
