ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Randomize
