Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
