Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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