HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
