well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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