I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
