I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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