She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i believe in u and ur pee
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
