Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
