Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
