the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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