she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
