i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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