he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
