So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
