it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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