whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
