hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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