No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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