Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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