I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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