I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
