I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
