we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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