The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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