Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
